My life feels like Tetris. I generally like Tetris at the beginning when I feel in control. I have time to think and plant each piece precisely in its most fitting position. I eagerly take on new pieces, even looking ahead at the next one before it comes. But maybe you have noticed this about life: the more you succeed, the more pieces come, and they come faster. There is a point when pieces pile up, not because I’m incapable of placing them, but because I don’t have time. I shift from seeking the optimal placement to seeking any open space. I shift from valuing each piece to to valuing my own survival. I make more and more mistakes. It’s a colorful chaos until I lose. (There is really no way to win this game.)
God is teaching me to trust Him in the chaos. I know I can’t win on my own, but I know He does win (Col 2:15). I have to trust that He is building a masterpiece with my small chaos, filling my lack with the perfection of Jesus and weaving my mess with others’ around me to make something beautiful – only fully seen from His perspective. “For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that powerfully works within me” (Col 1:29). “By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Cor 15:10). “The LORD will work out his plans for my life – for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me” (Ps 138:8).